How the Mighty Have Fallen!

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Woww are you freakin' serious?!

10 months together and now you want us to "go our separate ways"?

Conversations about forever but you can barely last a year....

One of the worst pains in life is when  someone chooses to stop fighting for/with you and walks away from the ring dragging pieces of your heart along with them.

 Why wasn't I worth fighting for?

During that first week post break-up I was a mess; so weak it wasn't even funny. 

Just going through the motions like a zombie wondering around aimlessly.

Dreading him coming up in conversation with people who meant well but were clueless as to what just took place. 

It seriously felt like I was mourning his death, even though he was just a car ride away.

I was torn between hiding under my covers  and  going through my daily routine. I chose the latter since it was a distraction even though my insides felt like they were crumbling like Jenga blocks.

Who was going to love me now?

Forehead kisses, unwavering support, the warm embrace of a man, deep talks about life, perfectly handwritten cards and hearing him say "Hey Beautiful" like it was my first name were now a distant memory.

 I always felt that I would've rather not love than love & lost because then I wouldn't know what I would be missing.  Now i do..and it sucks.

It was a hard pill for me to swallow, as with any person who loves hard.

I longed for the day that he would  pick up the phone and say he wanted me back but ..that was wishful thinking.

After reluctantly embracing my new reality of being single again. I was so determined to press forward and never look back. 

I waited 20-something  years for this?!

My intent was to erase him from my life, wishing that I never opened the door to us. Everything we experienced together  was  now tainted  with emotions of what was.

One of the many lessons I've learned from my relationship is that you cant love without risk. They are hand in hand, especially when dealing with humans.

SN: God's love is relentless, steadfast & forever faithful.

Finally getting over the initial shock of such an abrupt end to our love story, I'm more bummed now that I have to start from scratch. I was so close yet so far from having what so many are craving.

Yo it's hard out here!

The beauty about starting from scratch is.. its pure with no unnecessary processes or additives. You can add  or subtract what you want. It's your life, you are the creator of how it will look moving forward.

No more waiting on him or her to get their act together, no more feeling like you have to chose between your relationship & your goals and no more being treated like an option while they were your priority. 

 Travel the world, pursue your dreams, go after that new business venture, start volunteering or a new hobby, go back to school, launch a blog/vlog or do absolutely nothing. 

One of my favorite gems that I got from reading  It's called a Break up because its Broken is that a break up gives you the opportunity to redesign your life!

Once I embraced that perspective, my spirit was renewed and hope awakened.Just like how I chose love daily in my relationship, I choose happiness without one.

What About You?

What did you do or would like to do now that you are single again?

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