4 Ps: The Pros of a Break Up

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Believe it or not a break up is a blessing in disguise.  Even though it may not feel like it in the moment, there are some benefits to the end of a relationship. Below I discuss 5 reasons why a break-up may turn out to be a bonus!

1. pres·er·va·tion(n) the act of being reserved for a particular person or group.

About a week or so ago I met up with a friend from college and in reference to my second blog post "How the Mighty Have Fallen!"she told me "Girl! Your break up was not  a loss it was a gain. The Lord is trying to preserve you!" Reflecting back on her statement I thought how  true?!

 My breakup wasn't a surprise to God, He already knew it was going to happen. He wasn't trying to humiliate me or make me feel unloved or rejected. He already knew that wasn't  his plan for me long term and wanted to preserve me so that I can be His Best for someone else.  

Like a precious piece of art the creator knows that if it's touched or passed around too many times it will start to lose it's value so he places it in an area in a gallery that's roped off so curious fingers don't damage it in any way.You will never decrease in value to God but he knows that sometimes we lower our worth based on our brokenness.

He wants to make sure that  your emotions, self esteem, self worth and identity is intact and not damaged by the last one who came along. He wants to set you apart and not aside for the person who has yet to love you in ways that you have never been loved.

2. pro·tec·tion(n) a person or thing that prevents someone or something from suffering harm or injury.  

  Often times  when you see a toddler walking with a parent they are trying to pull away while their parent is holding on for dare life! The toddler wants to feed their curiosity and desire for freedom but throws a tantrum because they are not getting what they want. Little do they know that there is a flight of stairs just a few feet away that mommy or daddy is trying to protect them from.

 If they let their little hands go, there is a possibility that the toddler will tumble  down the stairs and hurt themselves or worse for the sake of fulfilling their desires. Just like the parent  protecting their child, that's how God looks out for us! As mere humans we can see only a slice of the whole pie. Your relationship may have appeared to be enticing  to you but God knows that later on down the road things aren't going to be as  attractive.   

That person is by your side now but when the going gets tough are they going to stick around? As the relationship progresses will they support you and build you up or tear you down because of jealousy.?Will their love turn out to be conditional and they leave after things are not what  they expected it to be? It is easy to get along with someone when things are going well.Honestly the possibilities are endless as to what God is protecting us from. 

This may sound dramatic but I love watching mystery TV shows like Dateline and 48 Hours. Unfortunately, there are many  episodes of spouses killing their husband or wife. I can't even tell you how many times I wondered  if their spouse ignored signs especially while they were dating.  How many of those couples broke up and somehow found their way back to each other not realizing that  Man's rejection was God's protection.

3. prep·a·ra·tion (n)  the action or process of making ready or being made ready for use or consideration. 

One of my favorite pastimes is reading and I've been doing that more frequently recently. While reading through the comments on an article about relationships this lady referred to her Ex as her "preparation man".Some of you can even say you had a "preparation woman"! 

What is that you ask? Well the trial run before the real deal. I've learned so much about myself, relationships and the opposite sex during the last several months than I've ever had in the last few years. Now that I'm equipped with some knowledge through time and experience then I have the power to apply it. 

Don't be too hard on yourself because your relationship  didn't work out! Recognizing the dos and donts,your likes & dislikes and wants & needs, will allow you to  make changes to your list ,make better choices, and improve yourself for future relationships. 

Falling does not always equal failure, it can yield preparation for the next go around. In the words of the late great Aaliyah "if at first you don't succeed dust your self off and try again". Part of falling is being banged and bruised up but also learning and growing in awareness.

Identify what made you fall in the first--second or third--place so that the next time you run around the track you can avoid those pot holes and effectively complete the race. The lessons you have learned from your former relationship(s) are tools to building successful ones moving forward.

4. pro·mo·tion(n) the action of raising someone to a higher position or rank or the fact of being so raised.

This probably makes no sense especially when one goes from hearing " You are the love of my life" to " Let's be great friends". Ouch!That's like the ultimate demotion! 

It's funny how when you are in a relationship you think it's the best thing since slice bread (as us Jamaicans would say lol). Now looking back I definitely realized that it wasn't all that I thought it was cracked up to be especially after the first several months.

We live in a relationship obsessed world. It's all around us from music, movies,TV shows,conversations with friends and families and certain holidays.There is definitely unspoken pressure to all the singles to get in a relationship.

Let me tell you, there is so much more to life than relationships or marriage. Yes the Lord cares about your desires and want to promote your love life but there are other areas as well that He wants to elevate! Some people will never live up to their full potential because of who they have chosen to join themselves with. God looks at the bigger picture, he doesn't ever want you to settle in life!  

How many times do we see ourselves trying to sit in some mediocre seats thinking that's all we can afford  when God already reserved the VIP section for us in this stadium called life. 

God can use your pain to promote you! He can open doors for you to get a literal promotion at work, start a ministry or organization to inspire others who went through what you did too or write a best selling book(where do you think self help books come from?).

I follow several women  on social media who lost a ton of weight post break-up/divorce one now owns a gym to help improve the self confidence of other women and some  re competing in fitness competitions. Who knows where they would've been If they stayed in those relationships? There is nothing more fulfilling after a relationship than accomplishing something on your own. It's a great way to gain self-confidence!

I'm sure you can think of individuals whose life got promoted despite of their brokenness;or because of it.The same thing that we think disqualifies us is exactly what qualifies us to be used.

 

 I want you to know that in your pain there is preservation, protection, preparation and promotion. What the enemy used to break you down the Lord will use it for His good!